One of the things that I have found about writing every day is a sort of find out what your strengths and weaknesses are as a writer. For example I know that I will never be terribly proficient writing about Baseball. I hate the sport with a fiery passion and have no desire to spend a day watching baseball, no matter how good the day or how great the Beer. I tried to do it at my old site and...well lets just say it didn't go terribly well. I can't do it. On the flip side of that coin I know that I can crush almost any Football post. I am not trying to pump my own work, but I do a good job with Football. I have a deep passion for the sport, a pretty good understanding of the tactical nature of the game and a very long memory for someone my age. That's my wheelhouse.
I have recently discovered that there is another topic that I can knock out of the park each and every time, calling Bill Koch out for being shit at his job. I can crush it because A) I care about being good at my (side) job far more than he ever has about the job he has that pays him 70 grand or whatever it is. B) I know more about the nuts and bolts of Football than he ever will. C) I pay attention to details to a degree that he never has, and never will. So I can destroy Koch at will basically because I try and he doesn't. So I always have that there, in my back pocket. I don't go to it often, because that is too easy. It's the same reason that Jon Stewart hasn't spent the last 2 and a half years killing Glenn Beck. It's too easy a target and they are too good at what they do to just rehash the same points night after night. Sometimes they just want to call attention to the silly ways that the British go about naming themselves.
But every once in a while Bill Koch does something so stupid that everyone needs to see what a hack he is.
This is the article in question, and it is mind numbingly stupid and lazy. I suppose that we could start with the headline "Next draft might not see much UC," but ultimately editors control that, so that is one thing I can't hammer him about. But then there is this little gem, published just the day before. He talks about the same six people, brings up the same points, only in a different order. I for one hate this kind of shit. I know that the enquirer mandated that all the Beat Reports need to get blogs, but rarely does Koch post new information in his. What usually happens is that he tries a story layout in the blog to see how it plays and makes some changes to it when it goes to print. He basically gives people the same lack luster, halfassed insights twice. Thanks for that. If he isn't going to do anything with it the enquirer needs to find someone who will. I mean fuck I would gladly do it for a pay check. Breath....
Moving on...
The two players with the best chance of being drafted at this point are defensive tackle Derek Wolfe and running back Isaiah Pead.
This is the only sentence containing substantive information. So out of 563 words in the article 23 actually matter. That's a strike rate of .04. Fucking fantastic. What's better is that this information is already out there. Mel Kieper has Wolfe and Pead in his top five by position rankings for the 2012 draft. I even broached the topic of Wolfe and Pead way back in March with Dan from Mocking The Draft. That Pead and Wolfe are the two best NFL prospects in the class of 2012 has been a known quantity since about October of last year.
Wolfe, at 6-foot-5, 300 pounds, has the potential to be one of the best defensive linemen in the Big East this fall. He needs to prove to NFL scouts that he has what they call disruptive quickness up front, but he has the size and strength to play in the NFL.
(Emphasis mine) Who calls it disruptive quickness and since when? Quickness and disruptive are two very different traits for a defensive tackle. The best have both, but some only need one. Terrence Cody was the most disruptive defensive player of the last 10 years because he fundamentally altered the blocking scheme of every offense he faced by simply being 400 pounds, OK 380.
Pead, 5-11 and 198 pounds, rushed for 1,029 yards last season. He has good speed and the ability to make defenders miss. He has also has added about 10 pounds in an attempt to become more durable, a critical asset that NFL scouts look for in a running back. If he can improve his blocking skills in pass protection, he could be looking at a fourth- or fifth-round selection next spring.
(Emphasis mine) Pead is the third best senior running back. Looking at the crop of under classmen backs there are maybe three guys that are likely to be high selections if they come out. Trent Richardson, Chris Polk, and LaMichael James. That's about it. Basically if Pead has a year on par with what he did last year he is a 2nd day selection at worst.
At this point, the best-case scenario would be for Collaros to be a late-round selection. More likely, he’s looking at being signed as a free agent. But he has a full season to improve his stock.
That sentence came at the end of 5 paragraph soliloquy devoted to the least draft able person in this crop of players. I am not knocking Zach, but I think that everyone who has watched Zach play last year knows that Collaros is a long shot at best to be drafted. He has marginal height at 6'0", below average arm strength (by NFL standards), adequate accuracy and iffy decision making.
So Koch devoted more words to Zach Collaros in an article nominally about the 2012 NFL Draft then he did about Isaiah Pead and Derek Wolfe combined. Again, those are the two sure fire draft picks in this class.
But Collaros will have to cut down on his interceptions – he was picked off 14 times last year – and must show that he can be a drop-back passer after operating in the spread offense in college.
(Emphasis mine) So I guess that he just going to completely brush aside the fact that the passing game in Butch Jones's offense is of the west coast variety that is oh so prevalent in the NFL. So that is a fact not worthy of your attention reader.
Linebacker J.K. Schaffer has an outside chance of being drafted in the late rounds.
His biggest shortcomings are his lack of size at 6-foot-1, 232 pounds, and his lack of speed. He compensates with intelligence, consistency and an all-out effort.
There is always, always a place in the NFL for ultra productive under sized linebackers. LB is one of the few positions where physical measurements don't really matter. Productivity is far more important than a 40 time or how many reps a guy can do of 225. J.K. is one of 8 players in the entire country to post back to back 100 tackles seasons. Its hard to be more productive than that.
Wide receiver D.J. Woods is also hurt by his lack of size. He’s only 6-feet, 178 pounds, but has been a very productive receiver at UC, finishing third last year in the Big East in receptions. Remember, though, Armon Binns led the league last year and at 6-foot-3 has the size that NFL scouts look for. The knock on him was that he wasn’t fast enough.
Woods must improve his consistency and do a better job of holding onto the ball after he makes a catch.
1) So I guess we are just going to ignore the fact that the rules governing secondary play in the NFL now favor, almost exclusively, guys just like D.J. Woods. So that just isn't the case anymore. 2) The knock on Armon Binns wasn't the speed, he ran a 4.50 which is acceptable for a WR. The knock on Armon was that he was a one dimensional vertical threat who can't do shot to trouble defenses on short or intermediate routes. That was the issue, not his speed.
And offensive lineman Alex Hoffman, an intelligent player at 6-foot-7, 299 pounds, has a chance to get drafted in the late rounds. At the least, he should be able to make it into an NFL camp as a free agent.
This is my favorite bit of the entire piece because there is so much wrong with it.There might only be two sentences but they are both just shit. First things first, no mention what so ever of Hoffman having to play the last two years of his career out of his natural and favored Right Guard spot. That's not the kind of information that Bill can trust you with. Second if you were to rank eligible UC players on draft ability Hoffman would finish third behind Wolfe and Pead. For an NFL guard he has the ideal dimensions, great feet, good hands, equally adept with the zone run schemes and pass Pro. Hoffman was the most talented guy on the offensive line, ahead of Jason Kelce who as we all know was just selected in the 6th round by the Eagles. And yet Koch seems to be implying that Hoffman is bound to be a undrafted free agent. I mean this is just comically hackish stuff from Bill Koch.
Look I am not the type that thinks the beat writer has to be a cheerleader for the program. That isn't required, and often isn't wanted. My issues with Koch have nothing to do with his consistent negativity towards all things UC. It is what it is. For me it is very simple, Koch is payed a handsome salary, he has a good job, all I want is a little bit of effort from the fucker. I mean look at this article. it's about the NFL draft in 2012. There is an NFL franchise in town, literally right across the fucking street from where he works. Would it kill him to pick up the fucking phone and talk to someone in the comically understaffed Bengals scouting department? Or how about calling one of those national guys, you know. The ones who have been all over the media for the past two months and would gladly answer any questions from anyone to satiate their unerring need for some cocaine of the print variety. Koch couldn't be bothered to do that. If you read closely you will have noticed that any time Koch uses the phrase "NFL scouts look for" he didn't actually talk to any scouts. He just inserted his own opinion there under the guise of it being from someone who knows something. Which he doesn't. Because he is a lazy, lazy hack.