I had a great 2016. I made all of my fans fabulously wealthy, both in the regular season and in the postseason.
I will continue my winning ways in 2017 and I will start them with the national title game.
Last Week: 5-2
Season to Date: 148-99
College Football Playoff: National Championship Game
No. 1 Alabama (14-0) vs. No. 3 Clemson (13-1), Raymond James Stadium, Tampa, Florida.
It is important to think of these six things when picking a game like this.
- When I open mail, I slit all the envelopes first.
- The smallest city in New York State is Sherill. It has 2,864 residents.
- Montana has 51 cities. New York State has 62.
- Watermelon is the worst fruit imaginable. (Editor’s note: This is incorrect.)
- In the state of Virginia, a city must have 5,000 residents.
- I learned numbers 2-5 while reading an Andy Rooney column in the delightful collection Common Nonsense, which was published in 2001 by Public Affairs, an imprint of Perseus Books. No. 1 is a practice I share with Andy Rooney, which I read about in the aforementioned publication.
Final Score: Alabama 31 Clemson 0
As always, this is a work of parody and not intended to be taken seriously. For more of the same, follow me on Twitter: @ClaytonTrutor