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The Wrestling Personas of Every FBS College Football Program

After a tough Sunday, let’s try to have some fun. Uncurated, Uncensored, Uncooked.

Morrison and Blake meet Flair Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images

I thought about picking up guitar this winter. I tried it. It hurt my fingers.

Instead, I decided to figure out the professional wrestling persona that most closely embodies every FBS college football program.

Originally, I was going to write a paragraph-long explanation of why I matched each program with each wrestler but I got lazy. And I got a deadline.

Uncurated, uncensored, and uncooked. Here is the official list of the wrestling persona of every FBS program.

AAC

Houston: Face

UCF: Heel

Tulsa: Heel that just blew a big push. That’s actually just a long winded way of saying “Baron Corbin.”

UCF: Heel henchman who puts over the face on free TV two weeks before his boss faces the same face on Pay-Per-View.

Temple: Heel that has just gotten over with the marks.

USF: Sami Zayn October 2016

SMU: Sami Zayn October 2017

Tulane: Johnny Gargano

Navy: Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake

Cincinnati: Bob Backlund at Wrestlemania 9

UConn: Iron Mike Sharpe

East Carolina: Drew McIntyre

ACC

Clemson: Sycho Sid

Louisville: Sid Justice

NC State: Blackjack Mulligan

Wake Forest: Lord Steven Regal

Boston College: Mike Rotundo

Florida State: Bret Hart in WCW

Syracuse: Chainsaw Charlie

Miami: Rob Van Dam

Virginia Tech: Lex Luger at Wrestlemania X

Georgia Tech: Perry Saturn

Pitt: Scott Norton

Virginia: Tom Zenk

Duke: Billy Gunn on Tough Enough

North Carolina: Jay Lethal

Big 10

Wisconsin: Bret Hart at Wrestlemania XII

Ohio State: Bret Hart in 1997

Penn State: Mr. Perfect

Michigan State: Dolph Ziggler

Michigan: WCW Television Champion

Rutgers: Matt Morgan

Maryland: Nailz

Indiana: Jason Jordan

Northwestern: Lance Catamaran

Purdue: Zack Ryder

Iowa: Terry Gordy

Nebraska: The Red Rooster

Minnesota: Ryback

Illinois: Max Moon

Conference USA

Florida Atlantic and Florida International: The Singh Brothers

Marshall: Rhyno

Western Kentucky: Paul London

Middle Tennessee: Brian Kendrick

Old Dominion: Stunt Granny

Charlotte: Tom Stone

North Texas: Jim Brunzell

UAB: Brian Lee, SummerSlam 1994

Southern Miss: Jerry Lynn

Louisiana Tech: Dan Bandana

UT San Antonio: JC Ice

Rice: Bill Apter

UTEP: The West Texas Rednecks

Independents

UMass: Pete Doherty

Army: Dean Malenko

Notre Dame: Lou Thesz

BYU: John Johnson

Mountain West

Boise State: Tye Dillinger

Wyoming: Waylon Mercy

Colorado State: Rocky Mountain Pro

Air Force: Spirit Squad

Utah State: Abyss

New Mexico: Bob Davie

Fresno State: Chris Candido

San Diego State: House Show superstar

UNLV: PN News

Nevada: James Mitchell

Hawaii: Colt Cabana

San Jose State: Glass Joe

MAC

Central Michigan: Face

Buffalo: Heel

Akron: Dave Wills

Bowling Green: Keith Hart

Miami (Ohio): Johnny Ace

Ohio: OVW Champion

Western Michigan: “The Franchise” Shane Douglas

Kent State: Dean Douglas

Toledo: Jinder Mahal

Northern Illinois: The One Man Gang

Eastern Michigan: Directional Jabroni

Ball State: Waited on Jim Cornette at the Hyden, Kentucky Dairy Queen in 1994

Pac-12

UCLA: Face

USC: Heel

Oregon State: Affable Jabroni

Arizona: Face Jobber who gets the occasional win (AKA Barry Horowitz)

Stanford: HHH at Wrestlemania 12

Oregon: “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes at SummerSlam 1990 after Sweet Sapphire left him for the “Million Dollar Man.”

Washington: Roman Reigns at the 2015 Royal Rumble

Washington State: The Honky Tonk Man as Intercontinental Champion

Cal: Pat Patterson as Intercontinental Champion

Arizona State: Chadd 2 Badd

Utah: ECW referee

Colorado: Bart Gunn at Wrestlemania 15

Big 12

Baylor: Mr. Kennedy

TCU: Mr. Perfect at 1990 Royal Rumble

Oklahoma: Bruno Sammartino

Texas: Ric Flair in the WWF

West Virginia: Bill Dundee

Iowa State: Jamie Dundee on Jerry Springer

Kansas State: Bam Bam Bigelow

Texas Tech: Kevin Greene in WCW

Oklahoma State: CM Punk in WWE

Kansas: CM Punk in UFC

SEC

Georgia: Buff Bagwell

South Carolina: Strong Style

Kentucky: Brakkus at the Brawl for All

Missouri: Billy Corgan

Florida: Rugged Ronnie Garvin at Wrestlemania 5

Vanderbilt: Bill Watts

Tennessee: El Gigante

Alabama: Ric Flair during the 1986 Great American Bash Tour

LSU: Kane

Mississippi State: Jeff Jarrett in the NewBloods in WCW

Texas A&M: Booker T

Ole Miss: Colonel Robert Parker

Auburn: Randy Savage 1989

Arkansas: Randy Savage 1999

Sun Belt

Georgia Southern: Jobber

Texas State: Jobber

Coastal Carolina: Jobber

Idaho: Mulkey Mania!

New Mexico State: Jobber

South Alabama: Jobber

Louisiana-Monroe: Jobber

Troy: Indie Darling

Louisiana-Lafayette: Got a local boy push from Mid-South Wrestling in 1984 because Bill Watts was drawing flies on Tuesday nights at the National Guard Armory in Houma.

Georgia State: “Dr. Death” Steve Williams in the semi-finals of the WWE’s 1998 Brawl for All.

Arkansas State: Sir Mo.

Appalachian State: Teddy Hart

For more of the same, follow me on Twitter: @ClaytonTrutor