I’ve Got the Perfect Candidate for the Cincinnati Basketball Job

No. Not Rick Pitino.

Not Pat Riley.

Not Rick Reilly.

No.

The perfect candidate for the Cincinnati Bearcats job is in fact Kenny from Holliston, the greatest first-time-caller, long-time-listener, I’ll-hang-up-and-listen guy in the history of Boston sports talk radio.

Kenny has asked me to include his application video in this article.

What he lacks in knowledge of Cincinnati, basketball, and the state of Ohio, he makes up for in bravado and handsomeness.

If you’d like to see Kenny from Holliston become the new Cincinnati head basketball coach, follow him on Twitter: @KennyHolliston

He has plenty of other hot takes on the issues of the day:

Taylor Hall:

Fixin the Sawx:

Kenny’s Boston accent is a little strong in this one, so I tried to translate it into English:

Earth, ocean, air, belovèd brotherhood!

If our great Mother has imbued my soul

With aught of natural piety to feel

Your love, and recompense the boon with mine;

If dewy morn, and odorous noon, and even,

With sunset and its gorgeous ministers,

And solemn midnight’s tingling silentness;

If autumn’s hollow sighs in the sere wood,

And winter robing with pure snow and crowns

Of starry ice the grey grass and bare boughs;

If spring’s voluptuous pantings when she breathes

Her first sweet kisses, have been dear to me;

If no bright bird, insect, or gentle beast

I consciously have injured, but still loved

And cherished these my kindred; then forgive

This boast, belovèd brethren, and withdraw

No portion of your wonted favour now!