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From the Video Vault (Basketball): Memphis

A little sight seein' with Early Cuyler.

Aaron Doster-USA TODAY Sports

Memphis, in the words of Early Cuyler, "that town’s funner than hell." I don’t know if the Bearcats can win this one after filling up on good old fashioned Tennessee BBQ.

In order to protect myself from the charms of the Mississippi, I plan to pregame 391 miles east at the Knoxville Waffle House, east of Cincinnati. I’m gonna have a waffle, waffle syrup, hash browns "all the way," cup of black coffee, bacon, Canada bacon, country ham, city ham, steak, rib eye, country fried steak, grits, cheese on those grits, two eggs over easy, two eggs scrambled, two eggs sunny side up, cheese and bacon omelet, blueberry muffin, BLT, sausage pizza, McGriddles, dunkacino, a supersonic cheeseburger, Mactonight, beef jerky, cup of beef broth, the lanthanide series, kimchee, routabega, parsnip pie, fluffy puff marshmallows, cap’n crunch, cap’n kangaroo, the tuna melt, and those little riblets they make.

Here’s a pro tip: wear cargo pants to the movies. Then, you can sneak in your own snacks.

A related pro tip: go to Krispy Kreme ten minutes before they close. They will give all their stale donuts.