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From the Video Vault (Basketball): UConn

A Jacuzzi filled with Jim Calhoun, Kevin Ollie, me, and Heinz Baked Beans.

David Butler II-USA TODAY Sports

Our upcoming match-up with the Connecticut Sun is the subject of today's video vault.

I was hanging out at the local e-cigarette retailer. I don't smoke. I was just chillin'. Talking about Cincinnati sports with the fellas. Playing a little mystery date. Trying to get them to join the Elks Club. Telling them stories about the time I stole the Glengarry leads.

"Shelly," my friend and blood brother Randy said to me, tossing his head to the side, allowing his flowing red locks to glisten in the neon light. Of the e-cigarette shop. I opened up a diet Mountain Dew, Bill Polian's beverage of choice, and took a deep swig. Of that bellywash. That nectar of the Gods. And I had some deep thoughts about Connecticut's roster and the matchups for this week. I noticed that power forward Amul Muzz will be out of action.

"Shelly," Randy said to me again as his tossed his hair like he tosses the football with me on Wednesday's in the Rally's drive thru. "Shelly, Amul Muzz is a fictional character from the movie Dragnet."

"Oh," I said. Unable to think of any superior dialogue at this point.

"Do you want to come over to my halfway house and play Super Nintendo?" he asked.

"I'm strictly a Genesis man," I told Randy and his auburn rock-n-roll hair. "Genesis do what Nin-ten-don't. It's got sixteen bits of blast processing and Ico-Pro."

"We could just play Crossfire," said Randy, as put on "the power glove." He looked so bad.

"I don't crossfire on an empty stomach. You better take me to a diner and buy me a chicken fried steak, hold the onions," I said as my lined my pockets with free napkins. God knows why there are free napkins at the e-cigarette store.

"Why does Jim Calhoun wear those orange pantsuits?" Randy asked.

"What is a pantsuit. What is America," I said, while I thought about Connecticut's weakness off the pick and roll, our strength under the boards, and the mental toughness that Mick Cronin coached teams bring to games against Connecticut.