So far, so good.
Last Week: 9-3
Season to Date: 51-24
Tulane (2-3) at Cincinnati (5-0)
There’s a steel cage. Tulane is King Kong Bundy. Cincinnati is the power of Hulkamania.
Final Score: Cincinnati 72 Tulane 44
The Rest of the American Athletic Conference
East Carolina (2-2) at Temple (2-3)
The Pirates drive a red 1990 Chevy Cavalier. Temple drives a 1991 red Chevy Cavalier.
Final Score: Temple 42 East Carolina 33
Navy (2-2) at Air Force (1-3)
Navy listens to Destroyer. Air Force listens to Music from “The Elder”.
Final Score: Navy 33 Air Force 12
South Florida (4-0) at UMass (2-4)
The game is blackjack. South Florida has a 21. UMass has a 22.
Final Score: South Florida 38 UMass 17
SMU (2-3) at UCF (4-0)
SMU is bologna. UCF is capicola.
Final Score: UCF 42 SMU 35
UConn (1-4) at Memphis (3-2)
UConn is Mug Root Beer. Memphis is Ramblin’ Root Beer.
Final Score: Memphis 42 UConn 14
The Rest of the Country
Texas (4-1) vs. Oklahoma (5-0) (Cotton Bowl)
Texas is Lean Cuisine. Oklahoma is Stouffer’s.
Final Score: Oklahoma 43 Texas 37
Auburn (4-1) at Mississippi State (3-2)
Auburn is cherry pouches. Mississippi State is wintergreen long cut.
Final Score: Mississippi State 14 Auburn 10
Notre Dame (5-0) at Virginia Tech (3-1)
Virginia Tech can hit the ball onto the football field. Notre Dame can hit it into the graveyard.
Final Score: Notre Dame 31 Virginia Tech 30
This is a work of parody and not intended to be taken seriously.
For more of the same, follow me on Twitter: @ClaytonTrutor