Clayton Picks the Ponies: Miss Cleo Previews the Belmont Stakes

It seems that I annoyed a few faithful racing enthusiasts with my Preakness Preview.

No, Gun Runner didn't win the Preakness. Yes, he was scratched days before the race. No, Gun Runner didn't pull a Seth Rollins Wrestlemania 31-style run-in at the Preakness. Nyquist, who was yanked from the Belmont several days ago, assured me by way of his spokesman, Gun Runner, that he has no intention of pulling a Seth Rollins to win the third leg of the Triple Crown.

I promise you I will nail this one though. Bet the trifecta on this triumvirate of ponies.

WIN: Governor Malibu. Gotham native Governor Malibu, is going to win on his home turf. How do I know this? My favorite diner in Manhattan is none other than Malibu, a Chelsea institution since John Lindsay resided at Gracie Mansion. Located near the intersection of West 23rd and 7th Avenue, Malibu Diner is located near the famous Chelsea Hotel, the Gotham Comedy Club and a mediocre Trader Joe's. Malibu has top-notch burgers, the best breakfast not served on Sunday mornings by my Momma and more than two dozen different pies, all made fresh daily. Sit at the counter. Everyone that works there is a character and genuinely cares about whether or not you enjoyed your meal. For less than ten dollars, you will have an outstanding meal any time of day, tip included. The Miss Cleo of College Football would not steer you wrong on diners and will not steer you wrong on horses.

PLACE: Exaggerator. Exaggerator is a fine looking horse, but he is spending too much time obsessing over the NFL Network's Top 100 Players list and not enough time training for the Stakes. His twitter timeline is blowing up as late as 4 AM Eastern every night. He keeps ranting about how Blake Bortles doesn't deserve to be in the Top 60. He also thinks Reggie Nelson deserves a spot far higher than No. 60. I don't disagree with Exaggerator on either point, but he is just too focused on the list to be prepared for Saturday.

SHOW: Unified. Unified is the son of Candy Ride, the prettiest horse I have ever seen. Unified is a very pretty horse too and I hope he does well in the Belmont Stakes.

As always, this is a parody and not intended to be taken seriously. For more of the same, follow me on twitter: @claytontrutor