Follow me on twitter @ClaytonTrutor for the correct picks to every important college game and for incisive commentary on all other aspects of the human experience.
Last week, I jitterbugged to an 8-4 mark, thanks largely to the efforts of one gem-craving fella named Bentley Bear. I may be the Miss Cleo of College Football, but without the help of the Atari 2600, none of my success as a prognosticator would be possible.
Last Week: 8-4
Season to Date: 119-72
- MAC Championship Game: Bowling Green (9-3) vs. Northern Illinois (8-4) (Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan): I think Cincinnati should leave the AAC and join the MAC. It would be a guaranteed trip to Detroit every December. I don't just mean that as a way of saying we'd be in the championship game every year. I think Detroit is an outstanding place for a vacation. The GM Renaissance Center is my all time favorite Renaissance Center. There's the Motown Museum, Hitsville USA. There's the MGM Grand Casino. The slots there are really loose. There's a lot to do in Detroit. Plus, you've got Windsor, Ontario just to your south. There's plenty of mischief awaiting you across the Detroit River.
Final Score: Northern Illinois 27, Bowling Green 20
- AAC Championship Game: #20 Temple (10-2) vs. #17 Houston (11-1) (TDECU Stadium, Houston): Never been to Houston. I'd like to go sometime though. I think I will buy a bus ticket tomorrow and go to Houston for the game. I've heard that Houston doesn't have much in the way of zoning. I like that. It's your land. This is America. Do what you want to do with it. I keep trying to get the town of Skowhegan, Maine to allow me to start an all-night bare knuckle boxing, supper club/dinner theatre hosted by Chuck Woolery.
Final Score: Temple 31, Houston 20
- SEC Championship Game: #18 Florida (10-2) vs. #2 Alabama (11-1) (Georgia Dome, Atlanta): Watch out for this Saban guy. He's got a bright future ahead of him. Florida coach Doug Llewellyn has great hair, but not nearly as bright a future as Saban.
Final Score: Bama 42, Florida 17
- ACC Championship Game: #8 UNC (11-1) vs. #1 Clemson (12-0) (Actual Bank of America Branch, Steelecroft Shopping Center, S Tyron Street, Horseman Country): I went to the South Carolina-Clemson game last week. I was the guy holding the "FIRE DABO SWINNEY" sign.
Final Score: UNC 38, Clemson 0
- Mountain West Championship Game: San Diego State (9-3) vs. Air Force (8-4) (Qualcomm Stadium, San Diego):
Minds of men fashioned a crate of thunder
Sent it high into the blue
Hands of men blasted the world a-sunder
How they lived God only knew!
Souls of men dreaming of skies to conquer
Gave us wings, ever to soar!
With scouts before And bombers galore.
Nothing can stop the U.S. Air Force!
Final Score: Air Force 44, SDSU 24
- Pac-12 Championship Game: #7 Stanford (10-2) vs. #24 USC (8-4) (The Jed Yorkatorium, Santa Clara, California): I enjoy soaking my feet in hot water after a long walk. I add a little Splenda to the water to give the skin on my footsies a healthy sheen.
Final Score: USC 31, Stanford 28
- Big Ten Championship Game: #5 Michigan State (11-1) vs. #4 Iowa (12-0) (Applebee's Parking Lot, Across from the Furniture Store, Columbus, Indiana): Too bad that Lucas Oil Field bumped the Big Ten Title Game for the Central Indiana Scrabble Tournament. I think they will miss out on an awfully good game.
Final Score: Michigan State 21, Iowa 0
As should be obvious but apparently is not, this column is a parody and not intended to be taken seriously. All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.