It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man in possession of a position, with an abundance of physical gifts must be in want of a second position to play.

Sean Hooey is a mountain of a man, this much is true. He was forged from the explosive collision of his parents, Asia and the Sub Continent. His parents met, or rather were forced together, had a rather tumultuous courtship and in due time Hooey sprang forth from their fiery embrace. Many man have tried to scale him, few have succeeded in their attempts to conquer the mountain man known as Sean Hooey. Here is Hooey practicing his pass set against the rest of the Himalayas

Munchie Legaux is a cool dude. Has to be. You can't have the name Munchie, rock dreads and hail from New Orleans and not be cool. He is thoughtful and introspective and always has something interesting to say. I suppose that it should be noted that I have never met Munchie Legaux in person. I am just sort of assuming that the combination of the name, the dreads and the hometown magically convene to create the worlds worlds chillest dude. People who answer to childhood nicknames as adults are always cool. I know a lot of guys with dreads and I estimate the cool dudes to assholes ratio among the bedreaded to be in neighborhood of 4.5 to 1. And lastly I have been to New Orleans, I suspect that most of you Bearcats have been as well. Did you meet any New Orleans based dicks in your three or four days in the Big Easy? No? Thats what I thought. So Munchie is the coolest cat alive and he needs an appropriate analog. It has to be Jake Sully, not the wheel chair bound ex marine version, he is a pushy little shit as a human. But as an avatar he isn't nearly as grating, in fact he's B.A.

Danny Milligan is a brave man. A loyal man. A fierce man. And a Corsican above all else. As a child growing up at a time of extreme unrest; where death, destruction and chaos loomed round every corner. Milligan was fortunate enough to be blessed with the gift of foresight. He saw the forest through the trees and in said forest he discovered that he, as a man of prodigious talent blessed with uncommon aggressiveness, and mental agility could use the circumstances to his advantage. He did just that, rising to the rank of brigadier general by the age of 24. His genius was described by many as incandescent and that intellect attached to his fearlessness in battle created a military genius of the highest order with ample political acumen. Though he kind of got around that whole "politics thing" by naming himself emperor and having the Pope put a giant shinny hat on his noggin. In due time Milligan stood astride Europe, so what if he spent thousands of Francs to create a scale model of the continent small enough for him to stand legs apart and arms akimbo, he still did it damnit.

All was well until that fateful day when Milligan decided that he wanted to go cross country skiing across Russia with 550,000 of his grandest friends. It did not go down well. Milligan was grounded by his little European buddies. They ordered him to Elba for a non voluntary stay-cation, this quite upset the little chap and he ran home for 100 days of fun and excitement. It was followed promptly with almost 200 years of lonely exile in the middle of the Atlantic. But all's well that ends well.

As of today there are 128 days until the Bearcats kick off the 2011 Football season at home against Austin Peay. For me that fact presents a unique problem? How the hell do I kill this much time. Basketball season is long over and I am already a quarter of the way through my Bearcat Retrospective series so I have a lot of days to kill. So, to bridge the gap I am going to do a "Better Know A Bearcat" series with the Football team. So without further ado lets kick this thing off with the Derek Wolfe edition. I must warn you that what follows is probably not what you would expect from this blog. But lets see how this goes.

Contrary to popular opinion Derek Wolfe does not hail from Lisbon, Ohio. That may be where he spent most of the past 20 or so years, but that is not his home. You see Derek Wolfe is immortal, not a scary Dawn of the Dead Immortal or anything. Just your standard every day Immortal like Teddy Rossevelt or Queen Victoria.

Wolfe is the son of Telamon and was raised on the lovely Mediterranean Island of Salamis. He is a little bit royal and was something of a spoiled little brat in his day. As such he was never picked on (I am sure that his immense size and strength had nothing to do with that, nothing at all I say). As a young man he did what most good Greeks did. He sailed across the Agean in a valiant attempt to see off those vain effeminate's from Asia Minor, the Trojans. Here he is bidding the sons of Troy a good morrow, never you mind about the man sized shield or the massive axe in his right hand.

As you can see he was always possessed with great manners, perfectly cordial. He had some fun at Troy, he fought a little, he drank a little, he hunted small children for sport, he even had a couple of play dates with Prince Hector. A good time was had by all, but then his cousin had to go and kill the prince and ruin his sport. Young Derek got into a spot of bother with Odysseus after the war. They both laid claim to a prize and stated their case. The judges ruled in favor of Odysseus and young Derek fell on his sword and died. Meanwhile Odysseus commenced on a decades long journey that involved multiple multi-year extramarital affairs, whirlpools, sirens a cyclops and just generally visited death and destruction upon all. Let's call that a draw.

While the popular notion is that Wolfe died of his own hand, truth is he just went to summer for a couple millenia on Snake Island in the Black Sea. Eventually he came to America and decided that he would try this whole Football thing. Turns out he is quite good, just don't steal his shoulder pads, bad things tend to happen.